♩ ♬ ❅ ❆ Let It Go ❅ ❆ ♪ ♫

     Recently, I have started to paint more. It's fun. I enjoy painting because I get to express my emotions in my art. I don't paint to make money. I paint to show people what goes on in my mind. Sometimes, my feelings are well guarded. In a painting I called Flight of the Thunderbirds, it expresses all the emotions I was feeling when I painted it. I originally painted a few simple seagulls, like the ones you probably drew as a kid. That m shaped thing? That's it. Then, I splattered different colours, angry and sad colours, on to them as if they don't know which direction to go because they can't see. It was based on how I felt like I couldn't please everyone. I couldn't choose. The red represented how angry I was that certain people didn't treat me the way I felt like I should be treated. The blue represented how confused I was about what to do and how depressed I felt.  To this day, I still don't know why I just can't deal with decision making. When it's something simple, I can easily pick. But when it's bigger, you'd think I'd be able to decide but instead, it feels as if I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders and I'm pressured to decide. When I talk about my problems to someone, it feels as if they're helping me carry the weight on my shoulders. Sometimes, it feels as if the weight completely disappears. I guess the moral of this not-so-story is that you shouldn't hold in what's bothering you. Let it go.